It Was Always You
by FanofBellaandEdward
Summary: After the war, Sakura held hope that they could return to the time when everything had been fine with them. An unexpected sight forces her to reconsider her dream. Sakura's pov; set immediately after the war; angst; implied slash


**Author's note: This is something that has been sitting in my files for a few months now and I figured I might as well post it now. I'm not really a fan of Sakura, so it was actually rather difficult to write her pov - but there's a first time for everything, right?**

 **Warnings: Sakura's pov; set almost directly after the end of the war; doesn't follow certain events in the anime; some angst; implied slash**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto owns it.**

 **I hope you'll like it!**

* * *

 **It Was Always You**

"So the cells of the First Hokage can be used to develop new arms?" Sakura murmured, studying the cells underneath the lens of the microscope.

"That's the idea, yes," Tsunade confirmed and the heels of her shoes created a soft tapping noise as she walked throughout the room, consulting several scrolls and writing down her own notes. "It's all theory for now, of course. If we manage to create prosthetic arms, then it's still a question whether the arm will be accepted by the host."

"You think their bodies would reject the new arm?" Sakura inquired, pulling back from the microscope.

The blonde woman shrugged, looking up from the scroll she was studying. "It's always a possibility. Given Naruto's link to the first Hokage, however, his body will probably accept the new arm."

"But Sasuke-kun has less chance of success?" Sakura guessed, biting her lip in worry.

"The odds are more in Naruto's favour when it concerns this, yes," Tsunade admitted with a sigh. She chanced a glance at the clock. "It's time to do your rounds again, Sakura."

Sakura inclined her head and left the research room that had become Tsunade's office ever since she gave up her title of Hokage. Her sensei, Kakashi, would soon be officially introduced as Konoha's new Hokage, but he had already started working in the Hokage's office. The war was over, but with that there came an endless series of issues that needed to be resolved before peace could really reign.

She accepted the teetering pile of patients' files from one of the harried looking nurses and started doing her rounds. There were a couple of children, six and seven years old, who had caught the flu and were being treated for it in the hospital. There were several shinobi who were still recovering from battle wounds. One of them – an older man who went by the name of Tobias – had had to get several fingers amputated, but he took that in stride.

"What's the loss of a couple of fingers if it means I still can go home to my wife and daughter?" he smiled, waggling his remaining fingers.

That particular bout of optimism seemed to befall a lot of shinobi. All were glad to be still alive, to have escaped the hell that had been the fourth shinobi war. That didn't mean there wasn't a haunted look in their eyes, though. Every single shinobi in the hospital had lost at least one friend, had seen comrades falling before their own eyes, and that was bound to leave scars. Physical scars would disappear over time generally – mental ones, however, tended to fester and Sakura bit her lip as she left Tobias' room.

Treating physical wounds wasn't enough; they had to figure something out to help the shinobi – and the general public – deal with the mental anguish resulting from the war. Maybe they should start focusing on healing the mind as well, and not only the body. After all, both mind and body needed to be a hundred percent okay in order to function well. They would need to construct a whole new method of healing in order to treat the patients well. In fact, they would probably need an entire new department who could deal with that.

"Maybe I can propose the idea to Kaka-sensei during our next meeting," she muttered, pressing a loose lock of her pink hair back behind her ear. She only had two more patients to visit today and her heart started racing when she read the name printed on the top file.

' _Uchiha Sasuke'_

She swallowed and nervous butterflies started swarming around in her stomach as she made her way to Sasuke's room on weak legs. Since she had returned with Sasuke and Naruto to Konoha after administering first aid for their ripped off arms, she hadn't had the chance yet to visit Sasuke, being kept busy with taking care of other patients and helping Tsunade with her research for prosthetic arms.

Today would be the first time in more than a week that she would see Sasuke again and her whole body tingled, nervous at the prospect of seeing the man who had captured her heart so many years ago.

She halted in front of the closed door and took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment in order to calm down. It wouldn't do to come across as frazzled or nervous right now. She fiddled a bit with her hair, hoping it didn't look like a mess like she feared it did, and pulled her uniform a bit lower, straightening out any wrinkles that could have appeared by wearing it.

As calm as she ever would be in Sasuke's company, she straightened her shoulders and knocked on the door. There was a vague grunt of acknowledgement and she opened the door, slipping inside.

Sasuke had been given his own private room, just like Naruto had. At the moment he was sitting up in the hospital bed, wearing a white hospital shirt, with his face aimed towards the window. His head was bandaged and several wounds on his body had been stitched together and covered with large, white bandages. What was left of his left arm was wrapped up tightly in linen bandages and his file indicated that the nurses on shift had taken care to examine the stump carefully to avoid infection from setting in. He had been given blood as well to counter the severe blood loss resulting from losing his arm.

It was … disconcerting to see Sasuke sitting calmly on the bed, here in Konoha, after he had been away for years. The missing arm was jarring as well, like a piece of a puzzle that was missing.

He was here now, Sakura reminded herself as she crossed the distance quickly. He was here, alive, and that was all that mattered.

She opened his file, studying the findings of the other nurses. "Good afternoon, Sasuke-kun," she smiled, coming to a halt at the foot end of the bed. "How are you feeling today?"

"Like usual," was the clipped reply. He hadn't bothered to look at her yet.

She cleared her throat, a bit thrown off by not having him look at her, and continued, "According to your file, you're healing quite well. The bandages around your head and the ones covering the wounds on your chest and legs will be removed soon. You'll have to keep your arm bandaged for a little while longer, but I see here in your file that the wound is closing up well."

She closed his file and put it on the bed, flitting over to the small closet next to the window where she gathered a fresh roll of bandages and a disinfectant solution. She walked back over to the bed, placing the stuff on the mattress as she bit her lip and said softy, "I'll need to take a look at your arm first."

At first he didn't show any reaction. She was finally in his field of view, standing right in front of him, but his dark eyes looked past her, seemingly not seeing her. Right when she wanted to repeat herself, he let out a strange huff and offered his left arm.

Carefully she removed the old bandages, happy to see that they weren't bled through like the previous ones had been, and studied the stump with critical eyes. The stitches stood out against the pinkish skin; they would have to be removed soon, but they were doing a good job of closing up the wound. The various rounds of chakra healing that had taken place had ensured that the wound was closing up smoothly and there was no signs of infection settling in, which made Sakura sigh out in relief. If infection had occurred, they would have had to amputate the rest of Sasuke's arm and she wanted to avoid that. Sasuke had already lost part of his arm, he didn't deserve losing the entirety of it.

After applying the disinfectant solution, Sakura wrapped a new set of bandages around the stump. The nerves in her fingers seemed to tingle whenever they brushed across the pale skin. It was no longer as smooth as she remembered it being when they were still children. Sasuke had acquired a lot of scars throughout the years; his chest alone had several scars, bumps disturbing the smooth canvas. Those scars didn't take away the fact that Sasuke had grown even more handsome than before and she could barely look at his chiselled chest without feeling her cheeks heat up like a furnace.

Eventually all the wounds were examined and redressed and it was with a twinge of regret that Sakura pulled back, straightening her back. She was pretty certain her cheeks would be dyed red for hours.

"Your wounds are healing like they should," she announced, throwing the old bandages in the small garbage can. "I estimate that you can get rid of most bandages in two days. Shishou and I – we are trying to grow a prosthetic arm from the First Hokage's cells. If we succeed, you'll get a new arm! Isn't that great, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke didn't look particularly elated at that news, but the pink haired woman reminded herself that Sasuke had never been one to wear his feelings on his sleeve. He shrugged and his dark gaze slid over to the two files resting on the bed. They had shifted a bit, revealing part of the name printed on the second file.

Something stirred in his eyes. "How's Naruto doing?" he questioned; a crease in his forehead.

"Na-Naruto? Oh, eh, I haven't visited him yet," Sakura replied, a tad nervous, and before she could react, Sasuke had snatched the file off the bed with his remaining hand and he opened it. "Eh, Sasuke-kun, you aren't allowed to read his file," she protested weakly, but something held her back from actually reaching out and plucking the file right out of Sasuke's hand.

"Hn." Sasuke didn't look impressed by that rule as his eyes slid from one line to the other, mouthing silently what was written on the pages.

Sakura fiddled with her fingers, hovering near the bed as she waited for Sasuke to stop snooping through the file. She felt awkward, as if she was intruding on him and wasn't that silly when Sasuke was the one who was reading another patient's file?

The loud 'snap' when Sasuke closed the file shook her out of her thoughts and she flinched in surprise. He looked at her with cool, unreadable eyes and held out the file.

"Naruto's room is three doors down the hallway, right?" he asked and swung his legs off the bed, grimacing when his feet touched the ground.

"Eh, yes, he is, but Sasuke-kun, what are you doing?" she fussed, holding out her hands. She didn't spare a thought as to how he had guessed Naruto's room – he probably had read Naruto's chakra – and watched anxiously how the man slowly stood up, resting his weight on his legs for what was probably the first time in more than a week. "Sasuke-kun, you can't move yet. You still need to rest," she protested and went to press him back down on the bed, but his glare – the red of the Sharingan flashing up together with the purple colour of the Rinnegan – made her freeze.

"I'm fine," he said through gritted teeth. "I don't need your help." He took a step forwards and he wobbled slightly, before finding his balance again.

"But what are you planning to do?"

He raised an eyebrow and carefully, slowly, made his way to the room. He only trembled slightly. "Visiting the idiot. Knowing him, he might end up strangling himself accidentally in his sheets," he answered dryly and when he reached the door, he rested his hand against the doorframe. He looked around and something that resembled vague amusement crossed his face when he saw her gaping at him. "Come on, didn't you say you hadn't examined him yet?"

"Eh, y-yes, right," she stuttered and hastily collected the other file before hurrying after Sasuke. "But you know, you really should rest more," she said worriedly as they slowly made their way deeper into the hallway.

Using a hand against the wall to support him, Sasuke shook his head and snorted. "I'm fine. I've had worse," he muttered and then he was opening the door to Naruto's room before Sakura could even raise her hand to knock.

Cerulean blue eyes swivelled around when they both stepped into the room and a large grin broke out on Naruto's face. "Bastard! Sakura-chan! It's been a while!"

"You're still alive," Sasuke remarked dryly and hobbled his way over to Naruto's bed.

"Yep. Wish I could say I'm still in one piece, but you know," Naruto remarked, waving what was left of his right arm. "Kurama's been on my case about it."

To Sakura's surprise, Sasuke sank down on the bed, sitting closely to Naruto. "There goes the respect you earned from him," he smirked.

Naruto rolled his eyes and smacked Sasuke's thigh. "Oh, shut up," he groused, but a smile lingered around his lips. His gaze landed on Sakura. "You're here to change my bandages?"

"Eh? Ah yes!" Sakura chuckled weakly, rummaging through the closet for new bandages and the disinfectant solution. "I only need to check your arm, Naruto. The rest of your wounds have healed completely, right?"

"Yes, thank fuck for that!" Naruto exclaimed, stretching his arms above his head. "Old foxie threatened to keep my injuries for a while, but then he realised that means we'll be stuck here for a while longer."

"You mean, he got tired of your whining," Sasuke commented, his smirk widening.

"Hey! At least I'm not looking like a mummy anymore – the same can't be said for you, bastard!" Naruto crowed and yelped when Sasuke pinched his thigh.

Rolling her eyes fondly, Sakura took Naruto's right arm and unwound the bandages, studying the limb carefully. "You know, Naruto, Shishou and I are working on prosthetic arms," she mentioned, noticing that the stitches had already disappeared. "We're using the First Hokage's cells, but we think we can create new arms for you two. What do you think of that?"

"You mean, I'd be able to get a new arm?" Naruto asked amazed, looking down at the stump that was his arm now.

She nodded, smiling. "Yes, it will take us some time, but we should be able to create an arm."

"That would be great! What about you, Sasuke?" Naruto exclaimed, turning his attention to his dark haired friend.

Sasuke merely shrugged. "We'll see," he replied calmly, before he nodded his head at the empty food tray on Naruto's nightstand. "Still haven't managed to convince the hospital to give you ramen?" he asked and there was no mistaking the teasing lilt in his voice.

Naruto pouted and Sakura felt muscles tense up underneath her touch when the blond started waving around his other arm. "No, I haven't! Can you believe they claim it's too unhealthy for me?" His tone was incredulous and he looked incredibly affronted.

A low chuckle left Sasuke as he replied, "Yes, I can believe that actually. I believe the word they're looking for actually is 'crap'."

"Ramen is not crap, bastard!" Naruto shrieked, all fired up in defence of his favourite food.

They continued bantering with Sakura occasionally giving her own input in the conversation. It felt like old times again, back when they were still Team Seven. Except now it felt like there was a thin barrier separating her from the two men and she felt silly for thinking that. It felt good to see Sasuke and Naruto ribbing each other good-naturedly again instead of trying to slit each other's throat. They were going back to how they were before and that was a _good_ thing.

But she couldn't help but notice that Sasuke seemed a lot livelier now, a lot more willing to speak, now that he was with Naruto.

She was just being ridiculous, she reassured herself as she made her way out of the room, leaving the two men alone. Sasuke just had to get used to her again while he and Naruto had always had some kind of connection that she and Sasuke had never managed to create.

A dark voice in the back of her mind couldn't help but pointing out to her that the two men – her teammates – didn't even seem to notice that she had left the room, engaged as they were in their conversation.

Sasuke just needed time, she reminded herself before making her way back to the research room.

Not feeling as happy as she thought she would after seeing Sasuke again for the first time in more than a week.

* * *

"What do you mean he left?" Sakura asked in disbelief, standing in the doorway of the now empty room where she had expected to find Sasuke.

The nurse – a young brunette who looked quite nervous and avoided her gaze – squeaked, "Uchiha-san discharged himself, Haruno-sama. He signed the papers, took his personal items and left."

"But what about his wounds?" Sakura inquired, worry creeping up in her. Sure, he had been steadily healing, but given the severity of his wounds, he should have stayed in the hospital for at least another week.

"They, eh, he seemed quite fit," the nurse replied nervously, fiddling with the corner of a file. "He – he's taken off almost all of his bandages. Only his arm is still bandaged."

Pink eyebrows furrowed, but Sakura sighed and inclined her head. "Well, if he says he's fine, we can't keep him here any longer," she muttered, a bit put out. Sasuke had always been stubborn, but did he really have to act like this? "I'll go see Naruto then."

"Ah, eh, Uzumaki-san isn't here anymore either," the nurse informed her; her cheeks reddening. "He – he discharged himself at the same time as Uchiha-san."

Sakura blinked, a bit thrown off by the information. "Oh, he – he didn't say anything to me yesterday," she muttered, worrying her lower lip between her teeth.

The young nurse looked at her apologetically. "Maybe it slipped his mind?" she suggested.

"Must be. Thank you for informing me," Sakura said, plastering a smile on her face that felt even faker than the ones Sai had worn in the beginning.

The nurse gave a quick bow before hurrying back to her station to gather more files.

Was it merely a coincidence that both men had discharged themselves at the same time? She had a feeling it wasn't and for some reason that bothered her immensely. Whether she was bothered by the fact that none of them had told her they would leave the hospital today or whether it was because they both had left at the same time was something even she couldn't figure out.

"You already have a big forehead – making such a long face isn't helping your case, you know?"

Sakura whipped her head around and saw Ino leaning against the wall; her long, blonde hair for once completely braided.

"Ino! What are you doing here?" she asked surprised, coming to a stop in front of her friend.

"Just visiting some people," Ino replied lightly, shrugging. "What has you looking so down, though?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Sakura laughed embarrassed, rubbing the back of her neck. "I – I went to visit Sasuke-kun, but apparently he and Naruto checked out of the hospital earlier."

Ino clapped her hands as a look of realisation crossed her face. "Right! I saw them leaving the ramen stand an hour ago. Didn't know they had just checked out of the hospital, though. They looked fine."

The pink haired woman groaned in dismay. "I should have known Naruto would drag Sasuke-kun to the ramen stand. Would it be that difficult for him to not bother Sasuke-kun with it?"

"I don't know," Ino mused, a contemplative look on her face. "Sasuke didn't seem to really mind it. Think he even paid for most of the bowls."

"Really?" Sakura asked surprised. Sasuke had always been annoyed whenever Naruto had dragged him off to eat ramen; what had changed?

"Yeah, maybe he has finally given in to Naruto and his praise for ramen," the blonde woman chuckled and shook her head fondly.

"Maybe," Sakura muttered, but her stomach churned with an emotion she couldn't identify.

"Well, anyway, I have to make one more visit here," Ino sighed and she threw her friend a concerned look. "Why don't you go take a break, go outside for a while? You're starting to look really pale."

"Gee, thanks, Ino-pig," Sakura snorted, but self-consciously brushed her hand over her cheek.

"I'm just trying to prevent you from looking even worse, Billboard Brow," Ino teased her and winked before swiftly turning around on her heels. "See you later!"

"Yeah," Sakura sighed and decided to follow her friend's advice. It _had_ been a while since she last took a real break. There was just so much to do and by the time she resurfaced from her work, the day usually had gone by completely and the only thing she could still do then was go home, eat dinner and pass out in her bed.

A change of surroundings might do her some good.

And who knew? Maybe she would find her two teammates.

* * *

" _Naruto and Sasuke? As far as I know they went to the training grounds. Maybe number three?"_

Shikamaru's words danced through her head as she slowly made her way to the designated area. She wondered what she would find there. The two of them just talking to each other? Sparring? Or …

Maybe they weren't even there anymore. They had discharged themselves from the hospital a few hours ago; there was no reason for them to be still at the same place. Then again, back when they had just become Team Seven the two of them had been ridiculously focused on training and sparring with each other. A lot of times during missions they had dragged themselves back to the camp when dusk had already fallen, keeping each other upright.

So really, it wouldn't be surprising to see them sparring again. Hell, it would mean that everything would finally go back to how it was and the thought of returning, going back to a time when everything was still simple and the worst thing that could happen back then was Sasuke and Naruto arguing too much and risking the mission – well, she'd give a lot to get that time back. Maybe that would finally happen now, now that the war was over and Sasuke was home again.

Slowly the gates surrounding the training grounds came into view and a smile spread across her face. She felt lighter than she had in years as she made her way to the third training ground where the gate had been left open.

This particular training ground was filled with mainly trees and big boulders, scattered throughout the entire place. The trees still bore the marks of kunai; some were even half destroyed, broken branches reaching upwards to the sky. Her footsteps were silent on the grass and she perked up when she heard familiar voices piping up from behind a very large rock. There weren't any sounds of kunai clashing or any sparring sounds at all; had they finished their sparring already?

Taking a few steps further, which kept her still in the shadow of the huge rock but gave her a clean view of the two men sitting next to each other, she opened her mouth to scold them for leaving the hospital so sudden.

But nothing came out.

Sasuke was laughing. She had never heard him laugh before. He had his head thrown back, leaning his weight on his one good arm as Naruto scratched the bridge of his nose, looking bashfully.

The melodious sound – so unlike the insane laughter she had heard coming from him so many months ago – shouldn't shock her this much. It shouldn't make her freeze like she was hit with an ice jutsu.

But then she caught the look on Sasuke's face as he gazed at Naruto and seeing that look, a look she had never been privileged to be the recipient of, one directed at the blond man solely, _hurt_.

Because she finally realised that she would never have a chance with the dark haired man. Probably had never stood a chance if she had to be honest. That realisation made her heart constrict and she clenched her shirt tightly into her fist.

Thinking about it, looking back at all their past interactions … She really should have seen this coming. She had always been praised for being smart and she prided herself on being observant, but she hadn't seen this coming. Hadn't wanted to see it she admitted. Because opening her eyes completely, regarding the situation for what it was, would have meant that she had to give up on her dream. Give up on the hope she had cherished for so long; the hope that had kept her upright during difficult moments.

Now … Now she needed to stop deluding herself. Sasuke would never consider her as a romantic partner, she realised and that made her breath hitch as tears filled her eyes. He might consider her as a comrade, as a friend, but nothing more.

Never anything more.

Because there was only one person in the world that could attract Sasuke's attention like that. Only one person had managed to get through to Sasuke throughout all those years; only one person had proven to be strong enough to deal with the person Sasuke had become.

Sakura would never be that person, she knew. She had closed her eyes to the darkness in Sasuke, had tried to believe they could go back to how everything was before – but back then nothing was perfect either. Sasuke had never been perfect and it was unfair of her to expect him to act like how she wanted him to act, she knew. She was strong, but not strong enough for Sasuke.

But Naruto was. Naruto had always been it for Sasuke. The blond man had been the one to push Sasuke, the one who broke through and lowered Sasuke's barriers. The one who had stood by Sasuke's side no matter what – while Sakura had been willing to give up. She had loved Sasuke, but she had never known him. Naruto on the other hand …

It was always Naruto and it would always be him.

That soft look of Sasuke – only Naruto would ever have the privilege of seeing that one. He was the only one who could bring a look like that on the dark haired man's face.

Yes, it was time to stop lying to herself. She should have seen this sooner, should have realised the truth during the war when she saw with her own eyes how easily Sasuke had discarded her and Kakashi while doing everything in his power to save Naruto. A large part of that had to do with the fact that only the two of them could save the world, yes. But it hadn't been the only reason.

It was time to say goodbye to her lifelong crush. Naruto had a hold on Sasuke's heart and that would never change.

Sakura wondered whether Naruto even realised what he had. When she focused back on the pair, her attention was immediately drawn to the way the corners of Naruto's mouth were curled up in a soft smile, his blue eyes glittering in a way she had never seen directed at someone else – except for Sasuke.

She smiled wryly. Well, it looked like Naruto did know what he had. She knew he would take good care of it; Naruto was not someone to throw away such a precious thing.

Yes, it was always Naruto. She found that she didn't mind it much – losing to the blond man. Realising she never would have a chance hurt, yes. It made her mourn for the relationship that had never even had the chance to grow.

But she would get over it. She was strong. She didn't need someone else to define herself. This might bring her off balance, but she would never be knocked down completely. That just wasn't her.

One day she would find someone who cared about her as much as her two friends cared about each other, she knew. Until then she would just continue paving her own path in life, growing each day.

She threw the pair – blond hair clashing with dark hair as they talked softly to each other – one last look before she turned around decisively, giving them time for themselves. Giving herself the time to mourn silently for her lost love.

One day at a time. She knew she would get there.

"Take care of each other," she whispered and left the training ground.

"We will."

She smiled and left.

Her own path forming right in front of her.

* * *

 **AN2: Well, this was my first attempt at writing Sakura's pov. It wasn't easy to be honest, but the result isn't too bad I think.**

 **Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any spelling/grammatical mistakes, please point them out to me.**

 **Cuddles**

 **Melissa**


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